I tell my fifth-grade daughter all the time: “Use words!”
She’ll ask me to pass her “you know, that thing” or she’ll tell me about “stuff” that happened at school. But those words don’t do much to help me understand what she’s talking about.
When she forces herself to slooooow down and actually find the words, I can see the wheels turning in her head. She’s realizing what she’s trying to say as she puts it into words I can understand.
Ten-year-olds aren’t the only ones who struggle to find the right words. We all do, especially when we talk about our work. It’s easier to talk in jargon or use shorthand instead of really getting to the root of what you mean.
But we can find better words!
A recent project: How I found the right words
This week, I’ve been mulling over a challenge. I was asked to stand in front of a large group and ask them to donate to a worthy organization in celebration of its 75th anniversary. I was asked to inspire them, compel them, and show them the impact of their gifts.
I’ve been mulling…but I couldn’t quite find the right words.
First of all, public speaking is something I can do (especially with a good script), but it’s not something I love to do. I’m a ghostwriter for a reason — I don’t like the spotlight. So my chest felt a little tight whenever I tried to write my speech.
Second of all, I wasn’t really clear on what I wanted to say. I knew the goal (get people to all eagerly write checks), but I was having a hard time boiling down a clear message. What was my ask? Why should people answer my call?
I felt like my daughter. “Give money and stuff….”
Since I couldn’t quite find the words, I started with a prop. I procrastinated did some creative research by searching for the exact right wrapping paper, a celebratory but formal gold and white to match the event theme. I found the biggest cardboard box in my garage and carefully wrapped it. I even watched YouTube videos to teach myself how to tie a perfect bow.
Voila! I had a prop. And while I’d wrapped and tied, I’d been mulling some more, trying out some better words than “Give money and stuff…”
I started thinking about what the money, this gift, represented. It represented all that the organization had done over 75 years. And even more powerfully, it represented what we could do together over the next 75 years. What impact could we make through our gifts? What could we build now that people would celebrate in 75 years?
My prop helped me develop concrete images: Our collective donations were a beautifully wrapped gift. They were also books for children. Food for hungry families. Open arms for people who craved a place where they felt welcome. Playgrounds for curious kids to explore. Trees to shelter people from the sun on hot days.
Once I made the ideas physical and concrete, the words started to flow.
I wasn’t asking for checks. I was inviting people who valued welcoming, feeding, and supporting their neighbors to join me in welcoming, feeding, and supporting. I was building a shared vision and showing people how they could help make it real.
It took me all week, but I finally found the words.
Can’t find the right words? Keep trying.
As we enter the end of the year, with all that brings for your work (end-of-year reporting, planning for 2026, reflecting, committing, celebrating), here’s my charge to you: Slow down and take time to find the words.
If you find yourself staring at a blinking cursor (or asking an AI bot to help you figure out what you’re trying to say), stop. Maybe find a prop. But definitely take a beat, and ask:
- What am I really trying to say?
- What if I stop for a minute and try a little harder to find the right words?
- What if I keep looking one layer deeper to find the words that would actually help someone else (my team, the board, customers) actually understand what I mean?
- How can my words invite other people in?
In the process, you won’t just find better words for other people. YOU will more fully understand what you mean, too.
