Earlier this month, I talked about long, craggy roads — the juicy, interesting stories about how we all got here. I feel strongly that people are more interested in those roads, and the perspective that we gain by walking them, than our shiny, perfect end products. The finish line is beautiful, but it doesn’t mean much if we can’t see the race you ran to get there.
So I wanted to tell you a little bit about the long, craggy road that I’m currently walking.
If you’re new here, I made a career move in late 2019. After 7 years working as a strategist at a content marketing agency, I decided to start working on my own as a thought leadership consultant. I’ve been using this transition to rethink a lot of my habits, the way I plan and spend my time, and what kinds of work I want to take on.
The past few months have been exciting, invigorating, hopeful, happy, terrifying, and difficult in ways I didn’t quite predict. One of the primary reasons I wanted to work solo was to have complete control over my work, my time, and my success (or failure). And as I’m sure every entrepreneur and freelancer knows, controlling your own success is both fabulous and terrible at the same time. If I don’t close a deal, or if a project doesn’t go as planned, or if I am unprepared for an important call, I can’t blame anyone but myself.
Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you about is my word of the year for 2020. I like the trend of choosing a word for each year, instead of a “resolution.” My word is a simple intention I can remember and try to honor every day.
As I was planning my leap into solo work, I was heavily influenced by Paul Jarvis’ book “Company of One: Why Staying Small Is the Next Big Thing for Business.” He introduces a key concept in the first pages of the book: having “enough” instead of constantly striving for “more.” He encourages readers to rethink our collective wisdom about growth and scale and to instead define what “enough” means for each of us.
I knew my word of the year for 2020 would be ENOUGH.
Here’s what that means:
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I will define what ENOUGH means for me: how much money is ENOUGH to cover what I need, how many clients are ENOUGH to bring in that revenue, and what kinds of creative work are ENOUGH to keep me interested and growing.
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I will define ENOUGH for my work so that I’m able to be fully present and active in the other, very important, parts of my life. I have two small kids, and I want to give them ENOUGH of myself. For the few hours of each weekday that I’m with them, I want to give them my full attention and try my best to be my most patient, creative self. Parenting little kids is more fun when you do it without keeping one eye on your inbox (a lesson it’s taken me a long time to fully learn).
I don’t think ENOUGH means giving up on big aspirations or goals or ambition. And Paul Jarvis doesn’t talk about it in terms of parenting, but for me, ENOUGH money, work, recognition — it all directly translates into being a better parent who is able to give ENOUGH to my family.
But that word still feels a little problematic. It feels small. In early January, I was still looking around for a better word.
I had a lightbulb moment when I heard Jenny Komenda share her word of the year: CARE.
I linked to Jenny’s work in a previous email. She’s an interior designer who has turned her design business into a growing, thriving company with a national audience and multiple product lines. I admire the way she has built her business. She shares pretty transparently on Instagram about her own long, craggy road as a business owner, parent and human. For her, CARE is about being intentional, focused, and caring — caring for the parts of her life that are most important. Being a careful, caring boss, friend, parent, partner, mentor, etc.
The word CARE really resonated with me. I think ENOUGH and CARE can work together, as my dual words of the year.
I want to give, be and have ENOUGH. I don’t want to get distracted by MORE. And once I’ve defined what’s ENOUGH for me, I want to give my full, focused, compassionate CARE to each of the projects and people in that ENOUGH bucket.
I have found myself returning to CARE almost every day this January. Here’s how CARE is showing up in my routines:
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I know it’s boring to hear about other people’s exercise, but I just have to say that intentional exercise has been the biggest game-changer of the past few months for me. I CARE for myself by going to a gym class almost every morning, even when it would be easier to stay in my pajamas. I prioritize that daily exercise over almost everything else now. I’m most creative in the morning, and I used to spend the first few hours of the morning frantically working. I would get so much done before 10 am, and now I’ve barely started by then most days. That has been a big change, and I have to CARE for myself enough to know that it’s worth it.
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I CARE for my clients by not taking on too many. I CARE about having the headspace to come up with creative, careful solutions to their problems.
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I CARE for my work and my writing by giving myself ENOUGH time. I have discovered the amazing luxury of time. Sure, I still have deadlines to honor and momentum to keep up, but I feel much less rushed and frazzled because I’m not working on too many simultaneous projects.
These changes in my work habits have directly impacted the rest of my life. Because I have put more CARE into how I build my workday, and because I’m not racing toward MORE, my brain feels better. When I pick up my kids after work, I don’t feel so scrambled and distracted. I don’t feel the pull to check my inbox while I’m feeding them dinner. I’m not rushing them into bed so that I can work on one more project in peace and not get too far behind. I’m still impatient, and distracted, and quick to anger sometimes. I’m human, and I’m a work in progress, but taking away some of the work pressures to show myself and my family more CARE has proven that ENOUGH is, well, enough for me.
Okay. That’s all for this journal entry you didn’t ask for (!). I’d love to hear about your word of the year, and the long, craggy road you’re taking to honor it.
